I want to run away from everyone.
I want to run away from Backus, from Josh, from my family, from my friends.
I want to go somewhere nobody knows me, nobody cares about me, nobody asks questions or calls me. I want to be lonely. I want to be alone. I hate the world so much right now, even the people who love me. Especially them.
I'm obsessed with the past and I feel like there will never be a new life until I go somewhere where no one knows me and I can tell whatever lies I want them to believe about who I am and what has happened to me.
So freakin' emo right now. I'm sick of 'love' and I'm sick of friends who always want to be more and I'm sick of stalkers. I know I must be doing something to encourage these excessive attachments people make to me, but I just want to run away. I want nothing else than to have a life in a beautiful city where the only people I know are acquaintances who will never show up at my door asking why we aren't dating.
I hate the memories in this town.
I wanted a stable life here, I wanted to have as 'normal' of a life as I could and then my heart got hurt and hurt until I couldn't feel. I grew hard and bitter. It's too late now.
It's too fucking late.
Now I just have to... try something else.